Brunch-Deece Fried Egg Sandwich

Ingredients:

One english muffin

Two slices of ham (from the sandwich station)

Two slices of cheese of your choosing (from the sandwich station)

One fried egg (from omelet bar, or fry one yourself!)

Preparation:

-Cut one english muffin in half and toast to a crispy perfection worthy of the Deece

-Quickly place the cheese slices on top of one half of the hot toasted muffin

-Add the ham slices (folded in half)

-Ask the omelet bar for one friedegg OR

-Ask for one whole egg and fry it yourself at the stir fry station (they always have eggs back there, just don't be afraid to ask for one!) keeping the yolk runny if you like it like that

-Place fried egg on top of hamand cover with the other half of the english muffin

-Finally, bite into this wonderful, tasty, wholesome, all-american, protein-packed, part of your complete breakfast!

Rating: Deecent

Greasy-Deece Potato Pancakes and Hash-Browns

Our pancakes will always smile, feel?

Hey boys 'n' girls: I'm a crusty grease-monkey, and I'm back. Let's get down to business.

Ingredients

3 handfuls french fries*

2 tablespoons sweet onion, minced

1 tablespoon sweet onion, chopped

2 tablespoons waffle batter

4 tablespoons vegetable oil†

Utensils

3 white bowls

1 deep frying-pan

1 grill station

1 fork

1 knife

1 white plate

Preparation: Part 1

Mash 2 handfuls french fries with 2 tablespoons waffle-batter and 2 tablespoons minced onion—using 1 fork, 1 knife, and your big bear hands—to the consistency of banana-puree. In 1 deep frying-pan on 1 grill station, heat 4 tablespoons vegetable oil on high heat. You haven't got much time (in fact, there's no time), so shape the 2-handfuls-french-fries-and-2-tablespoons-waffle-batter-and-2-tablespoons-minced-onion mixture into 2 discs, each of exactly 3.5". diameter. Place the 2 discs of exactly 3.5" diameter in the 4 tablespoons vegetable oil, which are heating in 1 deep frying-pan on 1 grill-station. Got all that? Right, fry those things, and do that fast, because you know, oil spits and that. By the way, this is still a fucking mess. Try and flip these, they'll stick like crazy, but you should make the attempt. Pour out your excess oil into another white bowl. Place your crispy Greasy-Deece Potato-Pancakes on 1 white plate. You've succeeded if they don't crumble down to hash-brown status. Can you guess how Part 2 came about?

Preparation: Part 2

Mash 1 handful french fries and 1 tablespoon chopped onions to the consistency of … hash-browns, okay, what do you want? Pour the excess oil from Part 1 back into the deep frying-pan (yeah, it was really important that you take it out in the first place). Heat the oil on high heat, and throw this mixture in. Fry it all nice and good. Greasy-Deece Hash-Browns. Reaaaaal greasy, baby.

*Yeah, REAL HANDFULS.
†This recipe might work a lot better if you didn't fry these in a lot of oil. You could try that.

Rating: Another Deeceaster, but if you like potatoes and fat, it's pretty Deecent.